Kneeling down, face to the floor, tears overtook me. The despair I felt was suffocating and I wondered if it would let up. In my heart and mind, I begged God to help me, rescue me. As the sobs shook my body, I didn’t feel God’s help. I didn’t doubt that He was there, I just didn’t understand why He was letting me struggle so much, with what seems like no break. 

Didn’t He want me to experience His peace and healing?

That day of questioning and hurt didn’t make sense. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that Jesus would allow me to suffer so much without letting me hear Him. 

After that day, and the next, and the next, God shifted my eyes and heart. He picked me up out of my despair and wiped my hair out of my face, looked me in the eyes and told me a story. 

My eyes widened as I listened. This was my story. 

Jesus told me how He created me so perfectly. The dots in my head started to connect. Connections showing how God’s fatherly character had been writing a story this whole time. He gave me a personality that would keep me close to Him in my darkest moments. Each experience I have had penned this story unlike any other.

Seeing how God had been writing a story of healing and redemption in my past, my eyes looked to the future. And I saw it. I felt it. 


Hope that God wasn’t only in control of the past but was writing my future as well, all for my good and His glory. Tears filled my eyes. Tears of gratefulness and hope washed over the worn parts of my soul. Each wound, the days where despair choked me, rejection, all of this was a painting of God freeing me. Drawing me into His arms, showing me that He was all I needed. 

He showed me that even in those days where sobs shook my body, He was healing me. He was listening so intently. He never left me. He didn’t like to see me hurting but He saw what it was cultivating. 

Faith like gold. Imperishable. A faith that would carry me through life’s many adventures. 

Healing to the areas I didn’t know I needed healing. He is good like that.

A gift of abiding in Him that cradled the rejected spots in my soul. Showed me Whose I was. 

Each hard day, each good day is all a piece of a bigger story that our Savior is writing. All we have to do is abide in Him and obey, watching ourselves as we get surprised by His goodness at every turn. 

As our story unfolds, our hearts will feel like bursting because of how good He is. We will lift our eyes up to the sky and whisper our awe for it is so good we cannot contain it. 

He is the greatest author.